Neither Nor

I’ve been pimping this all over select social networks, so sorry if you’re seeing this again, but: I made something on Spotify!

“EXCLUSIVE” meaning that I’m writing this solely for my Tumblr, and not my blog proper.  And by “writing,” I of course mean “repurposing previously published content.” To explain: thanks to the largess of The Awl, David Roth and I were able to shoot the shit about baseball via GChat every 2 weeks over the course of this past baseball season, and publish said results on The Awl.  

To say these chats were the highlight of my writing year would be a gross understatement.  It’d be more accurate to say that I eagerly looked forward to these rhetorical throw-downs with middle-aged girlish glee.  They were the perfect way for me to unwind from my two jobs (the one that covers my rent, and the one that covers my debilitating food-delivery habit), and any opportunity I have to shoot my mouth off about baseball is one I’ll take 11 times out of 10.  

To be honest, despite being the one that pitched Mr. Roth on the idea (as I was inspired by his Awl football yaks with Jeff Johnson) (which have now graduated to GQ.com, in case you weren’t aware), I was a little gunshy about rising to the challenge of keeping up with one of my favorite writers (about sports, pizza franchise magnates, etc).  But once I got over my stage fright and performance anxiety issues (thank you, herbal supplements), I think I did all right.

So, to celebrate the recent conclusion of this MLB season, I figured it’d be fun to go back through our Yaks (17 in total) and pull some choice exchanges from these hoe-downs.  And since the next month will feature MLB doling out their awards (an award every week), I figured it’d make sense to parcel out these “best-ofs” in a similar fashion.  But without the fancy hardware and incentive bonuses.  Unless The Awl 401K contributions are more robust than what I was lead to originally believe. 

I’m going in chronological order, starting with the very first chat on April 1st, before the names of David Freese and Mike Napoli and Sam Fuld were seared into the mind of the world.  And, of course, I’m including links to the actual Awl Yaks, in case you can’t get enough of this kind of gentle comedy.  If you’re reading these for the first time, or coming back for seconds, many thanks (&, assuming you’re so inclined, please leave a comment or some sort of “like” thing). The rerun fun begins after the proverbial jump.

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[caption id=”attachment_1812” align=”alignleft” width=”298” caption=”Albert needs to work on his Beast Mode pose.”][/caption]

The Cardinals had one starter last into the 6th inning against the Milwaukee Brewers, and were the beneficiaries of both some spectacularly awful Brewers defense and the best week-plus of David Freese’s life. Of course I’m going to pick against them. Again. Even if Texas’ addition of a 3rd catcher (Matt Treanor) at the expense of some bullpen depth (Koji Uehara) for this World Series seems like the sort of roster move the micro-manager on the NL side of the field would indulge in. And even if Ron Washington’s shown he’s more than likely to one-up Tony LaRussa when it comes to being “strategic,” when Washington has the perfect “set it and forget it” line-up. And even if Washington’s going to continue using Derek Holland out of the rotation, instead of giving Alexi Ogando a well-deserved (and, at this point, probably necessary) shot. Either way, Texas is going to be stuck sending three lefty starters to the hill against two switch-hitters (Furcal & Berkman) and at least four highly competent right-handed hitters (Pujols, Holliday, Freese, and Molina). If that’s the case, why not start the three most effective ones, instead of the two good ones and a third that hasn’t pitched well yet this post-season?

Of course, the Rangers’ line-up won’t be a cakewalk, especially if the starting staff performs the same disappearing act they pulled against Milwaukee. Assuming Wash knows what’s good for the team, the lack of a DH in over half the series games means the guy that’ll sit during NL games will be everyman / Jeterian incumbent Michael Young. His prospective absence during most of these games might explain the tonguebaths this thoroughly professional yet over-valued has received since the Rangers clinched their 2nd consecutive AL pennant. (After all, crediting the two key off-season acquisitions, and their combined 62 HRs, for the Rangers’ success wouldn’t do, right? Nah, let’s give it up to the high-average, low-power utility guy with the decreased defensive efficacy that spent the pre-season whining about his PT. Even if he was the only non-Cruz to homer for Texas against the Tigers.)

As much as it is an open secret that my distatste for the Cult of LaRussa knows no bounds, he’s done a remarkable job this year, especially in the post-season, and especially with his bullpen. Given how much work they had to do during the NLCS, adding Jake Westbrook to the roster as the 8th guy makes perfect sense, even if it’s only a token gesture. Still, it’s doubtful the Cardinals will be able to duct-tape and chewing-gum together another batch of McGuyver-esque relief magic if Chris Carpenter’s the only guy they have that can get 18 outs. And if, as I’ve seen suggested in some corners, Westbrook’s addition means there might be some issues with Carpenter, then there’s little chance the Cardinals will be able to make this series competitive. The Brewers had a pretty good line-up; even with a pitcher in place of Young, the Rangers make the Brewers look like the Mariners. Still, I have faith that Ron Washington will keep the Cardinals in more games than necessary due to either a slow hook with a flailing starter (hello Mr. Holland) or excessive small-ball chicanery, even if I have an equal amount of faith that Texas’ abundance of talent will overcome those shortcomings. I’ll give the Cards one Carp start and one slug-fest (you can guess against which Ranger starter), but I’ll give the World Series trophy to TEXAS IN SIX.